Kung-Fu Kitty

I was talking to a friend today about how it's really hard to get anything done unless there's structure to this thing. Well, I don't know about others, but it's definitely true for me. This is why summer is so hard for me. I just can't get anything done because I don't have any structure to my life. It's like the more things I have to do, the more they get done. Weird, but probably not that weird.

This is mostly why I want a job, I think. Well, I need money too, but I also need some sort of structure to my life. I figure that if I have a job, I'll have to plan for the things I want to get done and they will get done. Then again, maybe not. I feel so wasted, like the time I'm spending living is useless. I really need to do something productive or I might go crazy. All I've been doing lately is unsuccessfully looking for jobs, partying, and sitting around doing nothing. Although the second option is nice, the rest annoys me a bit. I never thought I'd say this, but I think I miss school.

The other thing is, I really like organizing schedules. One of my favorite things about college is that you get to make a schedule. Yes, I suppose I am strange, but it's the truth. Creating order out of chaos is kinda fun. Of course, once I have the schedule, I find it very easy to lead my life. But when I want to do something non-scheduled that doesn't have to do with class, but that I do in my spare time, I just can't finish it. I wanted to learn Hebrew one summer, but I stopped because I just sort of lost interest. The thing about schedules is that they force you to do the thing even if you don't want to. Maybe I should add things like that to a schedule and organize my entire life like that down to the hour, but that seems so unnatural.

Sticky...