Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Junk emails and napalm.

I should just note, before I get onto the true subject of this post, that I have started school. I started Monday and I'm taking a lot of interesting courses. Let's see, Astrophysics, Earth and Humans in Equilibrium, Arthurian Legend and Tradition, Masters of Modern Cinema, Solutions, and Wave Motion and Modern Physics... I guess the only course I don't really like is Solutions, but even it's ok. Getting back on track...

First of all, I have yet to understand how those who send spam emails decide who to send them too. Every day, I receive junk mail for penis enlargement. They usually have such titles as "Make her scream" or "All natural size increase" with all the appropriate colons inserted for some unknown reason. I have neither a penis, nor any desire to increase it, so why would I need this email? I haven't even subscribed to any porn sites or anything. Now, my brother has never ever received one of these emails and he actually tries to get them. Weirdness...

Second of all, and totally unrelated to the previous paragraph, unless you want to make some sort of Freudian association, a friend of mine (who will remain nameless for safety reasons, but who you probably all know anyway) thought it would be "wicked cool" to make a flaming sword. As most of you already know, I have a katana and sort of know how to use it, so it would look really cool to have someone (hopefully me) twirling a flaming sword around and perhaps filming it. First, we thought it might be a good idea to have some sort of gas reserve attached to the handle and then have a tube with small perforations running along the non-sharp side of the blade so that there would be a constant stream of gas on the blade so that it could be on fire for a long time. This is pretty complicated and probably a lot more impractical than anything else. So today, we just thought it would be best to use napalm and spread it on the blade, not too close to the hilt. I'm amazed at how easily a recipe for napalm is found on the internet, and also at how easy it is to make. Scary, really. So, we're gonna do that and test it on butter knives. I hope we can make it solid and sticky enough. The thing I'm worried about is that pieces of flaming napalm will fly off as the swords are being twirled around. It shouldn't happen if we do it right. Anywho, I'll let everybody know how that's going to work out.

I think that that's all I had to say.


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Monday, August 23, 2004

Windsurfing and sailing.

I just finished a Windsurfing/Sailing class last week. It was amazingly fun. It was a four-day course and we went to a lake for eight hours every day to sail and windsurf. (Way to state the obvious, Ilana.) Anywho, I got to try windsurfing twice, and it's a lot harder than it looks. First, you need to keep your balance to pull the sail up. Then, you have to be able to keep the sail up and use it for steering and propulsion. I think I spent more time in the water than on my board. I also have a nice collection of bruises on my legs, below the knee, from when I jumped onto the board. It was still a blast, although quite frustrating at times (most of them).

The sailing part of the course was equally fun, but not quite as challenging. I managed to get sort of where I wanted to go, most of the time, and I liked it a lot because we could work in pairs. I got hit in the head with the boom more than once which wasn't very nice, and twice I was hit in the forehead hard enough to be propelled into the water. It wasn't as bad as one of my friends there who got a mast in the head when her boat capsized though. However, injuries aside, I've discovered that sailing is really really fun. There's nothing to match the wind in your face, a billowing sail above you and the water wooshing beside you when you're going really fast.

All in all, it was a great class. The teacher was awesome, my classmates were really friendly, and I gained some information I never would have in a normal gym class. I'm also really happy because it was my last gym course ever! Heehee!


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Wednesday, August 11, 2004

The Secret Hanger

Once upon a time, in a land almost exactly like our own, there was a closet. In it hung many hangers, living peacefully with each other, and occasionally having coats hung upon them. There was one hanger in particular, not special in any way, but destined to do, or at least participate in, or at least be the recipient of, great things. We shall call him Bob.

One day, there was a great disturbance in the Force. The elders of the hanger tribe felt it and foretold a great tragedy. Sure enough, one summer day, when no coat had been hung for at least a month, Bob was kidnapped. Two large pink mammals, one slightly larger than the other and with hair on his face, took Bob from his cozy clothes rod and whisked him off to places no hanger had been before.

There were colours and shapes unlike any Bob had ever experienced. The closet had been a shade of off-white and he knew only the colours and textures of the coats which had been hung on him. Now, he could see that there was so much more to the world. Oh! how misguided the elders had been in thinking that there wasn't anything worth seeing in the vast Universe other than the comfortable confines of the coat room!

Soon he experienced something a lot less pleasurable. The largest of the pink mammals was pushing him through a door crack and trying to pick the lock! The pain Bob felt was beyond hanger comprehension as his wiry body was bent and twisted out of shape, and his metallic skin was scraped against lock after lock. The pink mammals tried their luck with many doors, torturing Bob over and over again, but to no avail. They soon gave up and concluded that you cannot use hangers to pick locks with any efficiency.

Bob then found himself in a place of great darkness. He was in some sort of large room (relative to a hanger's size); however, he could not see much of it. He had much time to nurse his wounds and to think over his recent experiences. Many weeks passed and word of Bob's disappearance passed from closet to closet, as hangers sometimes participate in foreign exchange programs. Many mourned and thought him dead, but a few of his close friends held on to their hopes.

This brave little hanger was far from dead, and was, in fact, getting stronger. So much time spent in his dark and dry abode made him intelligent and tough. One day, the pink mammals took him from his hiding place and looked at him. "We will call it our secret hanger!" they said, and the smaller one giggled. The pink mammals did not realize the impact this would have on Bob and all of hangerkind.

By this time, Bob had developed a sort of telepathy. He managed, one night, to send a message to his best friend, Reginald, who still lived in the closet and was dreaming peacefully about a soft angora scarf being wrapped around him. Bob's voice boomed into his dreamworld and said, "REGINALD! I AM NOT DEAD! DO NOT DESPAIR! I AM BOB! I AM THE SECRET HANGER AND I WILL SAVE HANGERKIND!"

Reginald awoke in a cold sweat, or as close to one as a hanger can possibly get which is more like a slight rusting at the corners. The next morning, he told all the hangers in the closet of his dream. Some looked upon it with skepticism, but the wisest of the elders took it as a sign. Hanger legend had foretold the coming of a messiah who would save all hangers from suffering, and the elders proclaimed that Bob was this savior. Reginald became a very respectable prophet, and spent all his spare time repeating the dream to wide-eyed hangerlings.

Meanwhile, Bob's powers were getting stronger. He was trying to master the art of teleportation, but that is not something that comes with any ease, even to the most powerful of hanger minds. Despair came over him as he realized that he would never be able to go back to his home and help his people. Then, a plan came to him. Every now and then, the large pink mammals would come and look at him. Unfortunately, he could not exert much mental power over them. He could not hope to get them to bring him back to the closet because he could not get them to do anything that would not seem like a hilariously good idea to them.

Bob thought and thought, observed the mammals' movements and thoughts, and soon came up with a plan that the mammals would just as soon think was their own. One day, when the mammals were feeling especially playful and foolish, he planted in the smallest one's mind the idea that it would be wonderful to make a map leading to the secret hanger. He hoped that someday someone would find him and put him back in his rightful place.

Unfortunately, the large pink mammals hid the map in a place just as impossible to find as Bob would have been. Still, Bob held faith in his plan. He quietly urged the pink mammals to leave clues in various places so that someone, somewhere, would find him. His fellows in the closet were just as hopeful, the most devout praying every day that their savior would return. Until this day, the Secret Hanger remains hidden, but it is said that when he returns, the hangers will become more powerful than any pink mammal, and they will rule the world. But that's just what the elders say, and they have been wrong before.

THE END


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Tuesday, August 10, 2004

The Dentist's Office.

I just had a dentist's appointment, and it was painful to say the least. Now, I'm not one of those people who is insanely scared of dental work, or has an intolerably low pain tolerance. However, this visit gave me reason to dread my next appointment. First of all, it took forever for me to be called in. My whole family was there, and that might have had something to do with it. I was bored out of my mind! I'd even read every single magazine they have there already. Now that's sad.

Then, when I was finally called in, I had to have x-rays done. First, I had one done of my entire jaw, and being the short person I am, they could never seem to get the machine to go low enough for me. I ended up standing on my tippytoes. I should describe the machine. There was a yellow thing that you had to bite on, and then press your forehead against a brace thing, and then put your feet directly under it, and then hold on to these handle thingys... Awkward. Anyway, it turns out that I have no hidden cavities, and that only three of my wisdom teeth exist. They should be coming in a couple of years.

The x-rays weren't too bad, except the small ones where they put the film in your mouth almost made me gag. The worst part was where the hygienist was poking and proding around in my mouth, not failing to miss all the fun sensitive parts. I'm sure she's a sadist. To add to that, I have a weird sore jaw that hurts when I open it too much. I told her about it, but she still insisted I open my mouth as far as possible, even though I was sure some interesting cracking noises would ensue.

Finally it was over and she gave me a purple tooth brush. My dad had to have a filling replaced and my brother has gingivitis and a couple of cavities. I guess only the girls in the family were blessed with good teeth. Heehee! While we were waiting for my mom to finish up, my brother and I went to the candy shop next door to make ourselves feel better. The whole visit took about two and a half hours. Ouch.


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Thursday, August 05, 2004

Elfwood gallery updated.

My Elfwood gallery has been updated, and all who care to go look, should. It would also be nice if you left comments. The link is at the right. I think I started this gallery about a year ago which seems strange because I didn't really have a scanner with which I could show off my artwork. So, I learned how to use the program Adobe Photoshop 5 which we got with the computer. That's good because it costs over $200 to buy new.

Anywho, I started with only four mediocre drawings, but I've since gotten better with the program. I can now use the program to its full potential (almost) and use all the tools properly. To think that when I started I couldn't even change brush sizes. Sigh! Recently, Etienne scanned some of my pictures from my sketchbook for me so I actually have pencil drawings now!

Well, I hope some people actually visit it and enjoy.


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Tuesday, August 03, 2004

A total lack of inspiration.

Hmmm... don't tell me I'm getting bored with blogging already! I just can't think of anything to write right now. It's as if an anti-creativity demon has come and sucked it all out of me. Well, let's see... I've been working (perhaps that has something to do with it), computering and hanging out with Jonah. I've got this strange feeling of almost depression, but more like something else. A longing of sorts? Bah, I don't know.

This morning I briefly chatted with Chris on msn. I think I sort of miss him. He's been at camp for something like five or six weeks now, and he only has three more weeks to go. He's coming back on Friday, but I won't be able to see him because of stupid work. Roar.

And Jonah just called. He's depressed about something or other. He feels like a leech off the system. Whatever. I'm sick of everybody being so sad, including myself. I need some interesting conversation and some good parties.


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