Monday, November 22, 2004
I over-reacted.
I guess I was over-reacting yesterday. I want to apologize to everyone I got mad at, especially Etienne. It's not his fault he's sick. I thought that not being able to play at the Lion was the worst thing ever when I've got more important things to worry about. I mean, most likely, we will be able to play, and if we can't because Etienne isn't better yet, so be it. I don't think anyone would be mad.
I was just totally unreasonable yesterday. Stress was coming at me from all sides. The thing with our concert, my concert next week with the string orchestra, thinking about my future, school... It was all piling up, and yesterday, I just had a serious panic attack. As I was walking to Bishop's for a band practice that I was terribly late for, I started feeling a swelling in my left hand, like my blood pressure had gone up all of a sudden. Then, later, I had accelerated breathing, a headache and dizzy spells. Didn't help that Chris got angry at me for being over an hour late for the practice (I'd be mad too). I think I really have to find a way to manage my stress or else this is going to kill me. I have to stop crying about everything (I cried at least five times yesterday), and think about this logically.
Anyway, right now, I'm procrastinating instead of working on my presentation for tomorrow... I really have to do that.
