Saturday, May 14, 2005
The Sneeze
Ah, how spring is a beautiful time of year!
The hibernating animals come out without fear.
The birds return from their stay in the South
And must feed every small mouth
Of their tiny newborn chicks.
Yes, the flowers and the trees
Are soon thick with bees
For they are in full bloom.
It was on a beautiful spring day
That I decided it would be a pity to stay
In my house where it is stuffy and stale.
So I took a quick walk
All the way around the block
With no expectation of the disaster to come.
I walked gaily through the neighborhood
And everything seemed well and good.
As I walked down the street,
I smelt a strange smell.
It was an allergen, so it made my nose swell.
The sneeze it did build up;
It became so strong,
I felt for sure that something was wrong.
And then it came out in all of it's glory:
Something spoken of only in story!
Like a whirlwind it was,
Like a rainstorm in May.
It threw me backwards
With all of its force and sway!
There was a small child playing under a tree
Now this small child was laughing with glee
For the force of of my sneeze
Had thrown him into the tree.
The neighborhood was in ruins,
The houses were destroyed.
A car had fallen on an old man named Floyd.
The bees and birds which I had so admired
Were entangled in branches; indeed, were quite mired.
I looked about me at what I had wrought
And then I came up with an incredible thought,
"Why," I mused, "I should have more reason
Than to go outside during allergy season!"
I had no idea of the extent of the damage.
That evening, I was visited by a certain Lieutenant Ramage.
He explained to me, in all seriousness,
That my sneeze had made quite a terrible mess.
A school had burned down,
Right across town,
And although all the children celebrated with glee,
This had a very bad impact on the town's economy.
Several houses had been hit by the blast from my snout;
The authorities had had to tell everyone to get out!
The Lieutenant escorted me to the police station,
Where I was questioned by men from across the nation.
The secret service was there, and so was the military.
They were considering the use, which was oh so contrary,
Of the power of my sneezer
To make a weapon which they would call the Kableezer.
They decided instead to give me a very important task
Which was, in spring, to always wear a breath mask!
I wrote this poem back in secondary 4, and it has a few problems with it, meter-wise, but it made me laugh once upon a time, so I hope you enjoy.
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The hibernating animals come out without fear.
The birds return from their stay in the South
And must feed every small mouth
Of their tiny newborn chicks.
Yes, the flowers and the trees
Are soon thick with bees
For they are in full bloom.
It was on a beautiful spring day
That I decided it would be a pity to stay
In my house where it is stuffy and stale.
So I took a quick walk
All the way around the block
With no expectation of the disaster to come.
I walked gaily through the neighborhood
And everything seemed well and good.
As I walked down the street,
I smelt a strange smell.
It was an allergen, so it made my nose swell.
The sneeze it did build up;
It became so strong,
I felt for sure that something was wrong.
And then it came out in all of it's glory:
Something spoken of only in story!
Like a whirlwind it was,
Like a rainstorm in May.
It threw me backwards
With all of its force and sway!
There was a small child playing under a tree
Now this small child was laughing with glee
For the force of of my sneeze
Had thrown him into the tree.
The neighborhood was in ruins,
The houses were destroyed.
A car had fallen on an old man named Floyd.
The bees and birds which I had so admired
Were entangled in branches; indeed, were quite mired.
I looked about me at what I had wrought
And then I came up with an incredible thought,
"Why," I mused, "I should have more reason
Than to go outside during allergy season!"
I had no idea of the extent of the damage.
That evening, I was visited by a certain Lieutenant Ramage.
He explained to me, in all seriousness,
That my sneeze had made quite a terrible mess.
A school had burned down,
Right across town,
And although all the children celebrated with glee,
This had a very bad impact on the town's economy.
Several houses had been hit by the blast from my snout;
The authorities had had to tell everyone to get out!
The Lieutenant escorted me to the police station,
Where I was questioned by men from across the nation.
The secret service was there, and so was the military.
They were considering the use, which was oh so contrary,
Of the power of my sneezer
To make a weapon which they would call the Kableezer.
They decided instead to give me a very important task
Which was, in spring, to always wear a breath mask!
I wrote this poem back in secondary 4, and it has a few problems with it, meter-wise, but it made me laugh once upon a time, so I hope you enjoy.
# posted by Unknown : 5:37:00 p.m.
