Kung-Fu Kitty

My dad got this email, a Nigerian scam, I'm told. I thought it was slightly humorous in its transparency.

PLEASE HELP ME OUT

ENGR. ADEMOLA DAVID OLUWATOPE
NIGERIAN  NATIONAL  PETROLEUM  CORPORATION (NNPC)
ELEME  REFINERY - PORTHARCOURT,  NIGERIA.

ATTENTION,
First, I must solicit your confidant in this
transaction, this is by virtue of its nature as
utterly CONFIDENTIAL and TOP SECRET. Though I know
that the transaction of this magnitude will make any
one apprehensive and worried, but I am assuring you
that all will be well at the end of the day. We have
decided to contact you due to the urgency of this
transaction, as we have been reliably informed of your
discreteness and ability in transaction of this
nature.
Let me start by first introducing myself properly to
you, I am ENGR. ADEMOLA DAVID OLUWATOPE, a director with
the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC)
Eleme Refinery. I came to know of you in my private
search for a reliable and reputable person to handle
the confidential transaction, which involves the
transfer of a huge sum of money to a foreign account
requiring maximum confidence.
THE PROPOSITION: a foreigner, Engineer James Akmed, an
Oil Merchant/Contractor with the Federal Government of
Nigeria, until his suspension three years ago,
executed with us at Eleme Refinery of NNPC, and had a
total contract executed worth US$25.6 (Twenty Five
Million,Six Hundred Thousand United States Dollar)
which flows in the Corporation's suspense account.
It is because of the allegation/petition leveled
against him that he (Engr. James Akmed) who is a close
friend to the late dictatorship General Sanni Abacha
(formal Military President of Nigeria) who died in
office in 1998 and during his tenure the country
experienced various mismanagement and series of
malpractices were carried out in collaboration with
his foreign friends. However, a Panel were set up to
investigate the issue, who found him (Engr. James
Akmed) guilty and the present Democratic President of
Nigeria Chief Olusegun Obasanjo suspended him from
transacting any business in Nigeria with immediate
effect and was asked to leave the country. However,
these made the contract fund "UNCLAIMABLE" which was
only known to my colleagues and I. Fortunately, all
the Contract document including the "CONTRACT
COMPLETION CERTIFICATE" are with me but the need for a
very trustworthy foreign business man/woman whom I
would present as the Foreign Contractor/beneficiary to
claim the fund.
In order to achieve this development, some of my
colleagues and I now seek your permission to have you
stand as the FOREIGN CONTRACTOR so that the funds
would be released and paid into your account as
beneficiary's who executed the contract in the year
1999. All documents and proves to enable you get this
fund will be carefully worked out.
More so, we are assuring you of a 100% risk free
involvement. Your
share stays while the rest would be for me and my
colleagues for investment purposes in your country.
We have agree that, the funds be shared thus, after it
has been transferred into your nominated account: 1.
25% of the money will go to you for acting as the
beneficiary of the fund. 2. 5% will be set aside for
reimbursement to both parties for any incidental
expenses that may be incurred in the cause of the
transfer. 3. 70% to us the originator of the
transaction.
If this proposal is acceptable by you, do not make
undue advantage of the trust we have bestowed on you
and your Company, kindly get to me immediately on my
E-mail Address as stated above. Please furnish me with
your most confidential Telephone and Fax Number(s),
Company Name to use(if any), Banking information
including the A/C Number, Swift Code (if any).
I assure you that if you will follow my instruction,
the fund shall be in your Account within 7-12 days of
this transaction. Thanking you for your kind
understanding in this regard.

My best regards,
ENGR. ADEMOLA DAVID OLUWATOPE (MNSE)